Bachelor en Paradise

Finally, I’m all caught up with ABC’s “Bachelor in Paradise,” which makes me feel a little more qualified to talk about this week’s episodes.

If you haven’t seen any of the episodes, I recommend backing away from this blog post like, yesterday. Or continue reading for all the hot dets!

Anyway, I am saddened by Sarah’s departure on Monday night’s episode because I was actually looking forward to “Raniel.” She had a very interesting relation-ish going on with Daniel, the Canadian baconater. He tried so hard to get her to like him and when she did decide to give him a shot, he goes ahead and gives his rose to Haley the twin, who needed to be coerced by her other half, Emily, to lock lips with him. I guess it’s karma. Oh well, Sarah, you’re better off without Daniel.

Moving along…Bret from Andi’s season came on and managed to break up the first couple formed on this season’s “Bachelor in Paradise!” Yes, Izzy was so smitten or I should say “attracted” to Bret that she was willing to forgo her relationship with Vinny. Long story short, she approached Bret and told him that she was insanely attracted to him and wanted to let him know that because she wanted no regrets. Well, I’d say she should’ve thought about that before making it clear to Vinny that they shouldn’t go out with other people.

OMG, Caila is a flight risk, she’s so indecisive! Just before Bret caused the excommunication of Vinny and Izzy, he took Caila out on a double date with Emily and Carl, also from Andi’s season (I think). Anyway, they went on a booze cruise and Caila couldn’t handle it. When Bret first got to “Paradise,” he asked Caila out on the date and with Jared sitting next to her she accepted, but right after she said yes to him, she asked Jared to come have a talk with her. Maybe she finally remembered that she was dating Jared before Bret got there, IDK. Well, they did have the talk and after Jared expressed his anxieties about her going on that date, she told him she’d stay and then minutes later said she wanted to go. Being the supportive boyfriend, Jared assured her that it’s still all up to her to decide on what she wanted to do. After thinking it through on her way to speaking with Bret, Caila decided that she didn’t want to go on the date. The bantering and the convincing was so hard to watch that I felt the confusion going through Bret’s head trying to comprehend what Caila really wanted to do. She went back and forth with Bret for a while until she finally gathered up the strength to accept his date proposal.

Caila girl, get it together!!! That, however was the perfect opportunity for Ashley I. to spend some uninterrupted time with the object of her affection, Jared. Personally, I think they’d make a much better couple than him and Caila. Anyway, the point remains obvious, Caila is indecisive and insecure and she is quite easily mislead. Someone like that needs to be taken with a grain of salt, hence the reason Ashley I. makes a much better and stable (yes, I said it) partner for Jared.

On Tuesday night, Carly and Sir Evan went on a date to purify their union and ward off anything remotely related to negative energy. More than that, they solidified their relationship by telling each other how weirdly strong they both feel. Carly came around full circle because she now sees Evan’s sultry and worthy sides. I’m happy she came around, but it sucks that poor Evan had to get a needle in his arm to make her see that she’s missing out by not letting him in. I can hardly wait to see them progress because I really like Evan, he’s a great guy and I think it’s what Carly needs.

There’s some trouble in the water for Grant and Lace because with the ending of Vinny and Izzy, and the return of Jade and Tanner, who brought a date card to give to the most deserving couple, she’s having second thoughts about their relationship. So, Grant told her that he was in love with her and although she didn’t say it back to him, he knew that she also loved him. Regardless, she’s having cold feet. He was so romantic tonight when he took her on a couples massage retreat. I’d love to go on one…but I digress. Only next episode would bring clarity to their story, let’s stay tuned!

Overall, the show didn’t disappoint because hello, it’s “Bachelor in Paradise,” where the rejects of all “Bachelor [and] Bachelorette” shows go to frolic with each other in an attempt to find love. It’s cliched and cheesy, but you still have to show some “respeck” (as Birdman would say it). I was there from the beginning of the franchise with Alex Michelle, and more than 10 years later I will continue to love and support each contestant. So, there you have it, the most gossip-worthy highlights.

Until next time…