In wake of the recent split between star football player, Tim Tiebow and Brazilian beauty queen, Olivia Culpo, I must comment! Every tabloid magazine have been running their story, alleging that the couple broke up due to lack of sex. First, it’s absolutely commendable that someone of his caliber made the decision to put his faith first above all else, not many of us could say so. Anyway, Olivia knew who she was getting involved with and I am positive that being an upstanding guy and all, he’d express his desires or lack thereof to her prior to their courtship. I’m not taking sides, but she’s fresh out of a relationship and maybe he was just another rebound guy for her (you can’t believe everything you hear). Granted, whatever the circumstances may be, I still think it was in their best interest to call things off. They’re young, a lot of opportunities are waiting for the two and they’re beautiful people, so it’s one of those “wrong time” moment for them.
In any case, I’d like to share my list of intimate “things” virgins can and still do. I met my current boyfriend several years ago in college when we were both virgins and I can tell you that we had FUN! No sexually active couple had more excitement than the two of us. Anyway, here’s my list- use it, abuse it, share it, dare it, call it what you want it, enjoy it!
- Make out like your life depends on it! I mean, really get into it. Eyes closed, mouth slightly opened, tongue pushed out, deep breath then release the suction cup. Every and anywhere, but nothing beats making out in the backseat of a car. Inhale, exhale just do it.
- Touch! Get to know what it feels like to be touched aimlessly without having a destination and I’m not just talking about fingering, I mean “the five love languages” type of touching. That’s a great way to know what your body responds to, which would make it a lot better for most people to understand what it is that they need to feel satisfied in and out of the bedroom. A simple touch on the face and arms alone could drive you mad, really. Touching is something that goes underrated and I think that people need to use their hands on their partners more than anything else. Plus, you’ll learn what type of language makes your sweetie say, “ah.”
- Hotels, motels, Holiday Inns, are relationship savers! $50 will get you a room for at least four hours in which you can get to know a lot about your honey, if you don’t have a place of your own, which by now you should. Anyway, just taking some time out to do something different and fun will absolutely help out your relationship in the long run (those of you who are parents and don’t think there’s enough time in the day to get everything done can also benefit from this). Instead of just going to a movie and having zero time to yourselves to enjoy each other, just get a motel room for four hours and you’d see the wonder it’ll do for you. At 21 and 23 when our parents were strict, we had no other choice but to get a room and make the best out of our virgin times.
- Nature-lize your courtship! I am positive that nature does a lot for not just your emotional and mental health, but for your relationship too because it gets your senses going. You have a far better chance of getting to know someone on an intimate level, while you’re one with what God has given us for free. It’s calming, it’s relaxing, it’s sometimes amusing and very intoxicating. A liar has no chance of telling a tale while you’re sitting by a river, maybe lying down, hands beneath your head, looking up at the clear blue sky with birds flying high, no way will they lie to you. Why do you think therapists make their offices so cozy and comfortable for their patients? It’s for you to feel relaxed and safe enough to express yourself without inhibitions, so give that much to your significant other.
- Eat, eat, eat! Go out to eat every now and again, not just for your health or social prowess, but to see how your future beau treats fellow humans. Being in love makes it impossible to see your lover as a flawed being, so going to restaurants, bars (if you’re into that kinda scene), ice cream parlors, department stores, and the likes will more than likely give you a taste of what to expect in the future! Bonus, his facial expression when he tries grilled octopus that’s a little bit salty. It’ll be a hint as to what his face will look like when you tell him you’ve overcooked the rice. Cough.
- Organize your agendas! Find an organization that the two of you are passionate about and spend time together volunteering. Trust me, you’ll both feel like extraordinary people after you’ve worked together towards a greater good, other than yourselves. The two of you will get to see each other’s “softer side.” It’s always nice to see your SO tending and caring for others because it shows you that your future kids will be safe when you leave the house.
- Fix this! Work on a project together. See how well the two of you work together, if you don’t yell then you didn’t do a good job. Psych! Just put something together because that’s where it’ll hit you and make you think of whether or not this person fits into your lifestyle.
- King of fornication! You can play with your genitals and not worry about getting warts. Whatever you do though, make sure to wash your hands (fingers) before touching her vagina because you don’t want your fluids (wink) to get into her! It’s completely fine to play the adult version of doctor with your SO, especially as a virgin because when you do become active, you’d already know what makes your erogenous zones palpitate. Get on with it! Sucking, licking and rubbing are also part of the package, literally.
- Cuddle buddy! Everyone enjoys some cuddling, so why not spend time holding each other, even if for a minute? It’s a stress reducer, plus it makes you feel a little safer knowing your SO could be your possible protector…one day. Cuddling also exposes you to his/ her scent and whether or not it’s tolerable. Some people genuinely have bad body odor because it’s their DNA, so that’s a great way to know if you’d be humping each other if and when the elevator’s stuck…for hours. Imagine that happening with uncle Fester! Anyway, cuddling also involves massages and ladies, take this one from personal experience, guys love it when you rub their heads (like the head containing your brain). I think it goes back to childhood when mothers, especially would massage their babies’ heads just to get the blood circulating and to calm them down or even to help reshape their skulls. Guys, your woman would do anything for you to rub her back and feet, so get the massage oil ready and dive in!
- Just spend time taking care of you! Good for you if you work out daily, but it’s not the only way to achieve great health. Check in with your doctor; make sure your vitals are in optimal shape and eat as organically as possible, don’t forget the people you’ve known all of your life, don’t neglect your education and continue on your career paths. Relationships are wonderful and it should be without thinking about it. Care for each other, comfort and support each other, pray for each other and just be kind. No one likes getting hurt, so why do it? Anyway, if someone wants to break up with you because of your virginal status, just say thank you and move along. Whatever decision you’ve made for your life is yours and do not allow anyone to change that, unless you agree. Ladies, as much as we’re hoping to change our rape culture, it starts with you, so don’t ever pull “the Olivia.”
Shanell C. Campbell 